Women of Color: Let’s Stop Overachieving
Being a woman of color and an overachiever are so intertwined that they complement one another, like peanut butter and jelly, can’t have one without the other. The pride that comes with being called superwoman or strong become an intoxicating addiction. So, you meet another unreachable goal, climb the top of a mountain only to search for the next one shortly thereafter, then again and again. It’s an exhausting race.
It soon becomes difficult, almost impossible to find the real you amongst your accomplishments. Are you your profession, your titles or your accolades? Who are you? At times this is coupled with feelings of unworthiness and a need to prove to others, and yourself, how worthy you are.
As a recovering overachiever, I’m doing my best to stop trying to be “superwoman”, but instead trying to be “super-Marron”. Here are some of the reasons I believe overachieving can hinder your mental and physical health:
Denies You the Safe Space to be Vulnerable
Being strong is sometimes misinterpreted as being a rock, stoic, unfazed and unbreakable. It may be viewed as a woman who doesn’t cry, endures attacks with a smile and keeps on moving like nothing happened. But something did happen. Life is rough and being vulnerable does not make you weak. To be strong is to be courageous and brave. Brené Brown put it best when she said, “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Are you letting your most authentic been seen? More importantly, do you know who your more authentic self even is? Cactus Fruit Moms one-on-one coaching sessions do just that, help you assess your more authentic self through self-reflection and poetry.
Makes You Believe That You are Your Achievements
You are more than your achievements. You are special and unique. There is no one out there like you, so let us see the real you. Who are you? Many of us don’t know who we are. I believe that the best place to search is to examine your childhood. For example, what brought you joy as a child? What activities did you love to do in your alone time, just for you? Start now by doing that activity again, whether it’s painting, singing, writing, etc. I am sure that in doing it again, you will ignite something that you forget was there. For me, it was writing poetry, playing pool and sketching women’s fashion designs. That’s why I wrote my first published book of poems Cactus Fruit, to reignite my love for poetry.
Gives You Little Time for Proper Self-Care
Self-care is different for many people. For some, it can be pampering yourself at the salon and for others it can be meditating, yoga, dancing and/or working out or all of the above. When you have so many tasks on your schedule that you “must” achieve, it provides little time for you to focus on the self-care you need. Dedicate a certain number of hours to yourself, you deserve it. Caring for your mental and physical health will be beneficial for you and everyone around you. Again, this is why I love helping women expose their truth through writing in my coaching sessions, Cactus Fruit Moms.
Breeds Disappointment and Burnout
You create many goals for yourself, hard ones and when you don’t reach them, you think to yourself, “This should be easy, this is what I do…I make things happen, but now I’ve failed. I’m a failure.” This may sound like an exaggeration, but thoughts like this can be buried in your subconscious thoughts without you even realizing it.
The truth is that not reaching a goal can mean many different things like it wasn’t what God meant for you, you do not have the time to dedicate to it, it was not the right fit, you didn’t truly want it, etc. Don’t get blinded by the lights so much that you forget the room, life, reality. Who are you trying to impress and why? Sit down with yourself, be yourself and chill out. You always have a choice and possibly one that is outside of the box.
Let’s delve into those choices and those feelings in my one-on-one coaching session for Cactus Fruit Moms. Book here and feel free to buy my book Cactus Fruit where I used poetry to expose my own truth. I can’t wait to work with you.
